THE STORIES WE TELL

We all tell stories. Almost every communication is a story. When we describe something we’ve experienced; it can be as simple as what we ate for lunch, it’s a story. We gossip about what we’ve seen or heard and express an opinion about events – story. And when we have an inner dialogue, this is story too. At our best we enjoy honest communication. At our worst we dissemble in an effort to conceal the truth or to boost our ego. That is we lie. But it’s still story.

Of course stories can also be dedicated creations. Such stories are part of our humanity and have been for as long as we have had the language resources to create them. Storytellers were once set apart as a high calling. Personally I believe this still exists. Parents of young children, for example, can provide an offering of love, learning and important growth. Children often beg to hear their favourite story again and again. Adults aren't so different. This is because stories that resonate bring us in contact with our essence as human beings; they unite us on a soul level. Familiarity certainly does not 'breed contempt'.

There are still people who are purposeful storytellers whether performing them, writing them or using the tools of visual media. Those who are good at this hold our attention. Their stories provoke curiosity and create anticipation. We want to know more. That’s why stories can be powerful, for good or ill. The evidence for both is all around us.

Let us look at some of the finest characteristics of stories. I’m hoping that some examples will jump in for you. [1] 

They can open us to the world, to our culture and other cultures, to the web of nature and our place in the whole of existence. Such knowledge truly opens our eyes.

By presenting moral truth in a picturesque, symbolic, image-filled way as stories often do, we can learn more easily, for images by-pass the rational or ego-bound mind. This is the concept behind legends, parables and also fairy stories.

It's also behind stories that awaken our consciousness by placing the ongoing human struggle in a completely unknown setting like a created mythical world or a futuristic science fiction one. Dystopian stories are essentially warnings to pay attention to who we are. That’s because the inner journey is reflected in an outer story and something of ourselves comes into the light.

Stories can  heal when they tap into our finest qualities,  our courage, resilience, hope and empathy. Stories like this are redemptive, most of all when they speak of characters overcoming raw human failings. Our compassion is enlivened through such stories. Often there is a moment of epiphany, a turning point, a moment of realisation. When we attune to this we are lifted to experience our own epiphanies.

Stories also provide escape. This characteristic often dominates at the expense of any other, yet it is valid. When life becomes too daunting and bewildering, a story can bathe the wounded psyche just as a song or picture can. The best adventures, fantasies, romances, comedies, crime stories and games open our eyes while enabling us to return to the real world refreshed. The worst won't allow us to depart from their unreal never-never land. We become addicted.

This feeds into loneliness and isolation. Meanwhile there’s often a desperate but unsatisfying need to be heard and seen. Most of us have come across people who talk incessantly about nothing much, or constantly big-note themselves, always having to go one better. Just occasionally it might be us.

So can the beneficial qualities of ‘big’ stories be applied to our everyday ones? Even when we share what we had for lunch? Our motivation is the key. The statement can be neutral, but more or less meaningless, simply filling a gap. Or you can convey your sensory delight with lovely details and questions that open an inclusive space for further conversation.

Likewise when an opinion includes an open (not leading) question or a shared experience serves to unite through empathy. And let’s not forget funny moments because they too bring us together.

In this online age great care needs to be taken with our words. And when games, social media, streaming shows, AI and quick reads leave little room for the kind of conversation that leads to an exploration of the human condition, then every moment of communication becomes an opportunity deepen relatedness.

The wisdom in our soul longs to express the spiritual self. This  profound wish will always be discovered at the very heart of the stories we tell and long to tell.    

[1] These characteristics are a simplified summary of my exploration in Prodigal Daughters of the novel and other long-form stories. There I include my examples.